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Things POSH people say...

To Have and to Get

Can I Have? / Can I Get?

I'd like to start by commenting on the very widespread mix up of the verbs have and get and would like to know how it came about.

You use "get" if you are asking permission to fetch something or if you are asking someone if they'd like you to obtain something for them. So "can I get some paper for the photocopier please?" if you were asking your boss for permission for a visit to the stationery room, or "can I get you anything from the supermarket?" if you were heading into town.

However, you use "have" if you are asking a person to serve you something, hence "can I have a beer please?" to the barman in a pub, or "can I have a latte please?" at Starbucks.

When I'm out and about though, I constantly hear "can I get?" in the second situation, so "can I get a coffee?", or "can I get a beer, please?" I end up thinking: are they going to jump over the bar and serve themselves? THIS USAGE IS INCORRECT

This seems to be a very common mix up these days, particularly with the under 30's, so let’s see if we can get this one right.

THE VERB TO GET

TO GET can be used in a number of patterns and has a number of meanings.

TO GET + DIRECT OBJECT = TO OBTAIN, TO RECEIVE, TO BUY

✪ I got my passport last week. (to obtain)
✪ She got her driving license last week. (to obtain)
✪ They got permission to live in Switzerland. (to obtain)
✪ I got a letter from my friend in Nigeria. (to receive)
✪ He gets $1,000 a year from his father. (to receive)
✪ She got a new coat from Zappaloni in Rome. (to buy)
✪ We got a new television for the sitting room. (to buy)


TO GET + PLACE EXPRESSION = REACH, ARRIVE AT A PLACE

✪ How are you getting home tonight?
✪ We got to London around 6 p.m.
✪ What time will we get there?
✪ When did you get back from New York?


TO GET + ADJECTIVE = BECOME, SHOW A CHANGE OF STATE

✪ I am getting old.
✪ It's getting hotter.
✪ By the time they reached the house they were getting hungry.
✪ I'm getting tired of all this nonsense.
✪ My mother's getting old and needs looking after.
✪ It gets dark very early in the winter.
✪ Don't touch the stove until is gets cool.

OTHER EXPRESSIONS WITH GET

• Do you get it means do you understand.
  Do you get what the teacher was explaining in class?
• He's getting dinner tonight means he's preparing the meal.
  You can relax. It's my turn to get dinner tonight.
• I'll get the bill means I'll pay.
  Put your wallet away! I'll get the bill.
• That really gets me! means that irritates me.
  It really gets me when my sister shows up late.
• To get rid of something means to throw it away.
  I'm going to get rid of all these old newspapers.
• To get out of bed on the wrong side means to be in a bad mood.
  He got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning and he's been horrible all day.
• To get your own back means to have your revenge or punish someone.
  She's getting her own back for all those rude things you said at the party last night.

Rules for the correct use of the apostrophe.

In UK and US English, the apostrophe is used:

1. To indicate the possessive.
2. To indicate missing letters.
3. Sometimes to indicate the structure of unusual words.

1. To indicate the possessive.

• This is Peter's book.
• This book is Peter's.
• The dog's dinner looks disgusting.
• Diana was the people's princess.
• I tore up the men's shirts.
• One should choose one's words carefully.
• It is everyone's duty to protest.
• It is no-one's responsibility.

Personal pronouns (words like I, you, he, she, it, we, they) indicate the possessive by becoming a whole new word. These new words are already possessive, so they don't need an apostrophe: my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs. Note that none of them has an apostrophe.

• The house is yours.
• The dog broke its leg.
• She said the book was hers.
• They claimed it was theirs.
• But really it was ours.

It's means it is or it has. There's no such word as its'.

2. To indicate missing letters in the middle of words or phrases.

• You can't have it.
• Don't do that!
• I'd like an ice-cream, please.
• We'd better hurry.

But we don't always use apostrophes:

• 15, Elm Rd.
• St Matthew Passion
• Photo is short for photograph.
• It is easier to say CD than Compact Disc.

In the cases where you wouldn't use an apostrophe in the singular, don't use it for the plural:

• I had one photo.
• They had two photos.
• We sell CDs and DVDs.
• I was born in the 1960s.

But we say this CD's broken because it's a short form of this CD is broken.

3. Sometimes to indicate the structure of unusual words.

A few words are sufficiently confusing that we want to indicate to the reader how the word is constructed. The apostrophe can be used for this if it is really necessary, but mostly it isn't.

• He bcc'd a copy to all the managers.
• Mind your p's and q's.
• Dot your i's and cross your t's.
• A list of do's and don'ts.

But you might consider:

• He sent a blind copy to all the managers
• Mind your ps and qs
• Dot your is and cross your ts
• A list of DOs and DON'Ts.

There's no need for it in:

• She got three As in her exams.
• All our CDs are perfect.
• We sell videos.
• I'd like two cappuccinos, please.

Childrens' shoes or children's shoes?

The apostrophe goes directly after the thing doing the possessing:

• The sun's rays = the rays of the sun.
• The table's leg = the leg of the table.
• The archbishop's palace = the palace of the archbishop.
• The archbishops' palace = the palace of the archbishops.
• The men's shirts = the shirts of the men.
• Children's T-shirts = T-shirts of children.
• The people's princess = the princess of the people.
• The American peoples' inheritance = the inheritance of the American peoples.
• My mother's photo = photo of my mother.
• One week's notice = notice of one week.
• Two weeks' notice = notice of two weeks.
• Three years' experience  = experience of three years.
• Everyone's help  = help of everyone.

Note that we can often use for instead of of – shirts for the men. The possessive is much a looser concept than ownership: the girls may not own the school, but it's still a girls' school.

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!5 phrases you'll never hear successful people use.

If you want to become more successful as an entrepreneur or in your career, you can start by making a habit of talking and thinking more like the people you know or read about who are already successful.

Here are some phrases you’ll never hear a successful person say:

1. "We can't do that."
One thing that makes people and companies successful is the ability to make solving their customers’ problems and demands their main priority. If a need arises repeatedly, the most successful people learn how to solve it as quickly as they can.

2. "I don't know how."

Instead of automatically shutting down solution-finding, successful people learn what they can in order to succeed in a project or in their career. For example, you would never see a truly successful international business consultant who travels to Italy multiple times per year refusing to learn Italian.

3. "I don’t know what that is."
Pleading ignorance doesn’t make the problem go away. It just makes the asker find someone who is able to work with them to solve the problem. While’s it’s always good to be honest with those you interact with, finishing this phrase with “but I’ll find out” is a surefire way to become more successful.

4. "I did everything on my own."

The best people know to surround themselves with others who are smart, savvy and as dedicated as they are. What makes this work is always giving credit where it’s due, as due credit to you will always come back in hand. Recognise those that have helped you or made an impact and you’ll continue to earn success and recognition yourself.

5. "That's too early."

You would never hear Benjamin Franklin or someone such as Steve Jobs say, “that is too early for me to be there.” If there is a networking meeting, project launch or interview opportunity at the very beginning of the day, the most successful people do what it takes to be there. Part of being successful is being at the right place at the right time, no matter if you’re a morning bird or night owl.

6. "That’s too late."

Along the same lines, if you’re asked to a 9 p.m. dinner by a potential business partner, and you can make it, definitely go. You may be tired the next day, but the connections you will make during a small dinner or after-hours meeting can make all the difference when it comes to your career or next project.

7. "It's too bad we couldn't work together."

Truly hitting it off with someone can be a rare occurrence, but if you truly connect with someone and want to work with them, find a way to make it work. Finding people that you really enjoy communicating with don’t come along too often, so whether it’s a case study or a new business, successful people know that working with those who truly align with your personality and interests are the path to true success.

8. "Let's catch up sometime."

Many times, this phrase is said as filler, without any true follow up. Successful people know that if they really want to catch up with someone, they follow up to make it happen. This also builds on the idea that the most successful people have worked hard to build genuine connections and relationships within their network, without any hidden agenda. Nurturing your network means being thoughtful of others, while keeping your relationships with them on top of your mind.

9. "I'm sorry, I'm too busy."

If an opportunity comes their way, successful people do what it takes to make it happen. Sure, this might mean longer hours occasionally, but if you want something to work, that is what it takes. After all, according to Lao-Tzu: "Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time,’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.’”

10. "That was all my idea."

Again, as mentioned in number four, the most successful people spread the wealth when it comes to doling out praise from a successful project. No idea is truly one’s own -- it’s a sum of their experiences from interacting and building off of collaborative ideas with a team. Doling out praise and encouragement is a crucial part of building a successful company and culture.

Related: 5 Things You Never Should Say to a Client

11. "I never read books."

Tom Corley of Rich Habits found that rich people read (and listen to) books at a much higher rate than poor people: “63 percent of wealthy parents make their children read two or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3 percent of poor.” Also, “63 percent of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to work vs. 5 percent of poor people.” Reading non-fiction (as well as fiction) can help reduce stress, enhance creativity and boost your memory.

12. "I'm not good enough."

Part of being successful is having a high sense of self-worth. Being yourself is one trait that promises success in business and your personal life. Follow your true interests. What you would do in your life if you didn’t need money?

13. "It's OK." (over and over)

Successful people know when to walk away and stop taking excuses from others. If there is a bottleneck and something (or someone) is preventing you from completing a project on time, build up your business, or move you forward in your goals, then it’s time to set boundaries and decide to limit your involvement.

14. "If our competitors don't have it, then we don't need it."

Copying competitors is one of the many possible deaths for most companies. True innovation comes from the flip side: figuring out what competitors aren’t doing and fill that niche to answer a need in the industry.

15. "Time off is for suckers."

True success should be seen as a well-rounded approach, one with vacations, weekends with friends and family and hours of downtime on the weekdays. While workload varies for everyone at times, taking a holiday can make you better at your job.

Sometimes to get to where you want to be, the best and easiest thing to do is to simply follow the examples that others set for you.

What phrases are you going to eliminate from your day-to-day conversations and thinking?